Being Sad, Without Pain [-Ch. 2-]

[Chapter Two]

Is This How It Ends?

A soft knock was faintly heard at the door. Ignoring the knocks for a few seconds Farrah snapped back from her thoughts and gradually got up from her king sized bed, heading toward the dark tanned wooden door. As she reached out for the door Farrah parted her lips to ask who it was, but was cut short when she heard a voice seep through. "Farrah? Are you there?" asked a voice from the other side. Her gaze from the floor shot up towards the door. "Taka..." she whispered softly to herself, with tears wanting to flow down her face. Getting closer to the door she reached out a hand and laid it softly on the door, feeling to vibrations of his knocks. Followed slowly by her other hand, she started leaning against the wooden door slowly resting the side of her head on the slightly cold door. On the other side of the hotel door Ruki could hear faint movement in the room, knowing it was Farrah. "Fay, baby... Please," he pleaded getting close as he could to the door, with his left hand above his head resting on the door, leaning his weight slightly on it.

~Farrah's Point of View~

"Why do I feel so fuckin' weak?!" I thought to myself. "Why am I so paralyzed when it comes to him?!" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. "꿈이었으면 (ggum-e-ssu-myeon/ If it were a dream)," I said very softly as tears came streaming down my face.

~Farrah's Point of View (End)~

A few minutes went by and not a word or sound was heard from either sides of the door. Just as Farrah thought Ruki had left she heard him faintly sigh. "Farrah... Baby I know you're there," he began to say in his deep, yet very gentle voice. "Fay, can you please open the door?" continued the soft spoken vocalist, fighting back his tears. It went quite again for a few more seconds until Farrah eventually unlocked the door, stepping aside opening it. Ruki caught himself from falling into the room from leaning on the door. "You could have warned me you were opening the door," jested the five foot three man looking at Farrah who stood behind the door, while cracking a weak smile at her. She closed the door behind him. "Fay, I..." He started to say, as she walked by him not looking or even saying a word to him. She walked through the two Japanese style sliding doors into the nice size living room. Ruki stopped in mid sentence and slowly followed after her. She stood in the middle of the living room back turned, arms crossed, with her left palm lightly touching her left cheek. Trying to erase the fact that she was crying. She looked down at the floor waiting for Ruki to speak his peace.

"Fay look at me..." pled Ruki softly, stepping closer to her. "The least you can do is look at me when I'm trying to talk to you," he added kind of annoyed. It showed in his voice. She stood there saying nothing, with her back still to him. Turning around she faced Ruki but still avoided eye contacted. Ruki took a few steps toward Farrah, making her take steps back not wanting him near her. This upset him even more. Stepping toward his love he quickly grabbed her wrist, before she could move anywhere, pulling her body close to his.

Ruki gently lifted her head making her look directly into his eyes. They both stayed silent examining each others face. Park Hyo Shin's song "Snowflake" looped in the back.

Now as I look up at the first snow of the year

In this moment together

I want to give you everything

And hold you in my arms

Don't cry, look at me

Still beside you

All my heart wants is to be with you

I won’t let you go again

Endlessly falling around us

On this path full of snowflakes

Little by little in your heart and mine

Our tiny memories become full

You are forever beside me

Unaware of what the song meant, because it was in Korean, Ruki began to see a tear escape Farrah's eye and down her cheek. Wiping the tear away with his thumb he then leaned in to kiss her. Slowly turning her face from his almost whispering, "Why are you doing this to me, Taka?" Taken back by her question Ruki couldn't do anything but look at her in confusion. The vocalist let out a soft sigh looking down slightly, than up again examining the side of his angel’s face. "What do you mean?" He started off saying. "I mean..." Ruki hesitated a bit. "I was told you were mad at me... But, I don't know why," continued the five foot three rocker. Farrah quickly turned her face back and the look of sadness was no longer there, it was now a look of disgust. "So... You're gonna stand here and act like I'm mad at you for no good reason?!" she snapped trying to push him off of her. Ruki, by this time, had a tight grip on her and pulled her back to him as she pushed away. "No..." Ruki muttered, trying not to get upset at being pushed away. "Fay that's why I'm here to find out why you're upset with me," Ruki stated trying to stay calm. Loosening his grip on Farrah, he eventually let her go. She took a few steps back trying to calm herself down from erupting in anger at Ruki.

The weeping woman’s stomach twisted and turned from the stress. She couldn’t even look at him. It was as if she almost felt like throwing up. Her right arm wrapped a crossed her stomach, with her left hand cupping her shaking hand over her mouth. Farrah knew very that if she would start yelling at him, it would only turn into a shouting match between the two of them. Ruki stood there looking at his ebony princess waiting for her to say anything. "So?...What did I do so bad that you don't even want to look at me?" Ruki questioned trying not to sound irritated. But it was obvious he was. Farrah looked into his eyes, staring for a short bit.

Calming her nerves she finally uttered, “How was she–”

“W-what?!” was all Ruki could get out in complete shock. His month slightly gapped open from his shocked reply. “Fay– baby– what are you–ah” Farrah glared at him locking her eyes with his.

"So you don't remember leaving with Yuri after the concert?!" Farrah snapped yelling, rage building inside her every second. Ruki was struck with complete shock he couldn't say a word. What could he say?!

~Ruki's Point of View~

"Oh my god... How does she know about that?" I thought to myself at that moment, unable to say anything to her. Seeing her cry was what hurt the most. How can I tell her that it wasn't what it seemed. Yuri was the one after me! I always told Farrah I would always be truthful and protect her, but I... I couldn't protect her from me...

~Ruki's Point of View (End)~

"Fay nothing happened!" Ruki pleaded almost yelling. "Taka– Let’s just stop this game… I don't think– I don’t think we're right for each other..." Farrah quietly expressed looking her love directly in the eyes. Her gaze weakly fell to the floor as she saw tears forming in his eyes. "Farrah– Baby please! Listen to me," the vocalist cried out, as he stepped closer to her trying to grab her hand. Slightly glancing up Farrah swiftly slipped from Ruki's grasp, shaking her head slowly. "Please leave... Ruki," she whispered hesitantly. Her voice cracked when calling him by his stage name. Tears still flowing unwilling to stop. She hated letting him see her cry, but she couldn’t hold in her pain anymore.

The room fell silent. By this time a different song poured from the iPod speakers. Shin Seong Hoon's "It's Still... Love," faintly played in the background.

Love, is my love that bad?

Love brings happiness, but here I am crying

Why me, why am I hurting so much?

I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted

When love hurts me, I continue to live

Wiping my tears doesn’t ease the pain

Love, is my love that bad?

Love brings happiness, but here I am crying

Why me, why am hurting so much?

I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted

Precious things always seem to leave

So I’ve kept my feelings hidden...

In shock of hearing her call him by his stage name, Ruki knew that nothing that could be said to get through to her at this point. Without saying a word Ruki slowly backed off and turned to walk out the wooden hotel door slamming it behind him.

Being Sad, Without Pain [-Ch. 1-]

[Chapter One]
To Love Unknowingly

"I used to be so strong, when it came to relationships," Farrah stressed to Tyla and Waverly, who were sitting on either sides of her. Waverly sitting on her right, while Tyla was on the left. "Fay, 괜찮아 (kwaen-cha-na/it’s ok)...," Waverly pursued in a very loving voice. "Eonni, I've never cried like this, not over a guy... And you know that," the wiping, ebony 21 year old began. "I don't know why I'm so fuckin’ torn up about this!" Farrah express in anger almost yelling. "Love..." Tyla said looking down at her leather red and gold dragon designed Manolo Blahnik Timberland high heels. Waverly and Farrah both looked up in shock at their friend's emotionless face. Tyla picked her head up and turn towards her friend lightly smiling. She reached over pushing Farrah's long black, reddish brown highlighted hair from her face. "The only way a strong woman, like yourself, would truly cry this much over a man... Is if she unknowingly had true love for him," Tyla expressed placing her hand on the side of Farrah’s face.

Farrah's eyes widened, jerking her head away from Tyla's gentle grip. Taken back from the comment Farrah snapped, "I wouldn't go as far as to say I loved him." "Then what would you call it?... Deep like?" Tyla slightly snapped back with a smirk on her face. "You know what?" Waverly spoke up bother eyebrows arched. "Ty is right... Wow... Ty didn't know you had it in you… You do have some kind of brain after all," Waverly winked at her friend.

"No no—Wave— not you too," Farrah cried out in a whinny voice. "Ew—why'd you say it like that? God that shit was annoying," Tyla covered her ears. Farrah cracked a tiny smile at both of her friends. "Aw there's my girl!" Waverly boomed hugging Farrah tightly. "I would hug you but... I don't want to mess up my make up, you know gotta look good when I got out tonight," Tyla smirked knowing her comment could get her yelled at. "Awh! This dumb bitch over here!" Waverly blurted rolling her eyes at the tiny Japanese woman, causing Farrah to laugh.

"Your makeup is going to get fucked up anyway by the end of the night... Damn whore, besides it's 12:30 a.m. where the hell are you going?" Farrah huffed. "What do you mean by that?!" Tyla said jokingly with a dumb look on her face. "Stop making that ugly face," Waverly demanded standing up from the bed stretching. "Anyway— we both know you're messing around with— Reita," she added yawing at the end.

After a few, Waverly and Tyla retired to their room that they shared together. Farrah went into the master bed room, leaving the bed room door open. She set up her iPod speakers on the round night stand which had a beautiful light sea green silk cloth draped over it, by the side of her bed. "What should I play?" letting out a restless sigh. "What am I in the mood for? Ah! Smooth Soul and R&B," she said while scrolling down in the playlist section clicking on 'Korean R&B'. Clicking play Park Hyo Shin's remake of "Snowflake" started flowing out of the iPods stand speakers filling the room with his soulful voice. Calming Farrah as she laid back on the bed, facing the ceiling, eyes closed, lost in herself.

"How could he do this to me?" Farrah softly said as her eyes opened slowly, her voice trailing off into silence with tears building up in her haunting, yet beautiful chestnut brown eyes. Park Hyo Shin's "Snowflake" still softly pouring from her iPod speakers filling her Park Hyatt Tokyo master bed room.

Somehow our shadows grow longer
As I'm walking with you in the twilight
Holding hands, this eternity
Just being together brings tears to my eyes
When the wind is cold
Winter is coming closer
Little by little on this path
The season when I'll have to leave you is coming [1]

Being Sad, Without Pain [-Prelude-]

Title: “Being Sad, Without Pain”
Languages: English(main), Korean (sub)
Rating: NC-17
Band/Inspiration: the GazettE/Yoshiki/Hyde/Gackt/ Chachamaru (GacktJoB)
Warning: Strong sexual content, Strong language


-Story Description-
Chapters: 6
Genre: Love, Drama
Point of View: 3rd/1st
Location(s): Japan, South Korea, and America
Status: Incomplete


-Original Characters-
Farrah Harris (main)
Age: 21
Ethnic: Black-American

Tyla Hibiku
Ethnic: 20
Race: Japanese-American

Waverly Lee
Age: 22
Ethnic: Korean-American


Back Story:
Farrah started to become a well known song writer in Korea after writing and producing songs for her two best friends, Waverly and Tyla. She finally decides to debut as a singer in Korea after a lot of pressure from her two friends.
Her debut in Korea was a surprising success to everyone, even to her. Shortly after she toured around Korea a long side Waverly and Tyla. During the last leg of their tour they were invited to preform a show in Tokyo, Japan. The girls soon catch the attention of legendary Japanese rocker Yoshiki!!!

Welcome!!!

Welcome, welcome!!!
I finally got this page to somewhat look like I want it too~!!
But anyway, this blog is where I will be posting all of my fanfics, pics, and other things of the such. I hope everyone will enjoy them! I know i don't have much on here now but I'm working on that so keep checking back~ Okies? ^-^
Cya~